








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 707 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2562 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2316 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1968 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2010 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,934 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | ronny | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | Shmuel | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | tomp | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | radekbonk11 | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomp | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ronny | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlaiBa | +3.08 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | ronny | +2.50 | 90 | 59 |
| #3 | retarded =Dsh00ter | +1.83 | 96 | 59 |
| #4 | Shmuel | +1.44 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | tomp | -0.98 | 66 | 76 |





