








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3942 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2678 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2545 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2880 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,856 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fyzx | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Legd✔ | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | s0c | 62% | 99 |
| #4 | mlk^ | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | sneaste | 61% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luring1 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Milked͎ | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | STAN | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | s0c | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Neon | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neon | 690 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Luring1 | 553 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | s0c | 408 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | Milked͎ | 309 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | STAN | 253 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luring1 | +2.56 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | s0c | +2.41 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | mlk^ | +2.07 | 87 | 70 |
| #4 | Legd✔ | +1.14 | 53 | 61 |
| #5 | Fyzx | +1.00 | 74 | 67 |





