








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2869 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2473 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1601 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1100 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,298 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeggeN | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | storM | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | Zepter1 | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | zaico | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Maakola | 51% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | storM | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | Zepter1 | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | zaico | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Maakola | 51% | 68 |
| #6 | Mavezzi | 50% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | storM | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | storM | 385 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mavezzi | 113 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Maakola | 112 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | WeggeN | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zepter1 | 31 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | storM | +2.65 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | zaico | +1.13 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | Steinagalen | +0.84 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | Mavezzi | +0.65 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Zepter1 | +0.02 | 61 | 59 |





