








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4317 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3143 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2020 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2118 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,081 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaico | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | Steinagalen | 59% | 63 |
| #3 | Zepter1 | 58% | 76 |
| #4 | Maakola | 57% | 142 |
| #5 | WeggeN | 56% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WeggeN | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Maakola | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | zaico | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steinagalen | 274 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mavezzi | 270 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Maakola | 227 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | WeggeN | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | zaico | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | storM | +1.97 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | Mavezzi | +0.94 | 61 | 64 |
| #3 | zaico | +0.52 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Steinagalen | +0.16 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | Maakola | -0.59 | 47 | 63 |





