








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1127 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1285 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 698 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $480,375 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kEz | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Alkotten | 54% | 89 |
| #3 | Ricky | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Killer Crab | 50% | 80 |
| #5 | L1meXX | 47% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ricky | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Killer Crab | 50% | 80 |
| #5 | L1meXX | 47% | 79 |
| #6 | Phjolix | 39% | 31 |
| #7 | Danix | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1meXX | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Alkotten | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Killer Crab | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Phjolix | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alkotten | 263 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | L1meXX | 185 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Killer Crab | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ kEz | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Danix | 81 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1meXX | +1.53 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | Killer Crab | +0.60 | 50 | 60 |
| #3 | Ricky | +0.17 | 62 | 60 |
| #4 | ✪ kEz | +0.06 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | Alkotten | -0.31 | 44 | 65 |





