








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 319 matches | ||
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7969 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10161 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8437 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8995 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,127,199 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda | 60% | 83 |
| #2 | Player | 59% | 100 |
| #3 | Evil Homer ꧁꧂ | 58% | 142 |
| #4 | HVPPY || | 58% | 146 |
| #5 | //sm✪ke | 56% | 196 |





