








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1570 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1141 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 885 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,324 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | لوحة المفاتيح العربية | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Mic | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Andst ムム | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | BC | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Kaws | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | save | 43% | 14 |
| #14 | Wild-Jam | 43% | 14 |
| #15 | JanniS | 42% | 33 |
| #16 | Bysted \\ | 38% | 8 |
| #17 | KirstenP <3 | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cardan | 153 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | KirstenP <3 | 72 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | PEST | 52 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wild-Jam | 43 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | save | 38 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | لوحة المفاتيح العربية | +5.63 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Kaws | +3.22 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Suk Mike Hok | +2.90 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | vilderen^ | +1.89 | 83 | 53 |
| #5 | PEST | +1.81 | 77 | 72 |





