








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 456 | 23% |
| Smokes | 422 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 717 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 379 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $163,758 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | m0rr0w | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | FlyySoHigh^ | 70% | 10 |
| #4 | XistEnCe^ | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | ÆoN.#? | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | SNOKEN | 50% | 6 |
| #12 | Ev1 | 50% | 6 |
| #13 | MikaeliX | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | Laserturken | 33% | 3 |
| #15 | La_rocca | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikaeliX | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Ev1 | 2 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | mode push | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | FlyySoHigh^ | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | m0rr0w | 1 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mode push | 193 | 0.46 | 5 min |
| #2 | cisco ❟❛❟ | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | swoldier | 39 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #4 | MikaeliX | 35 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | FlyySoHigh^ | 31 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laserturken | +9.02 | 94 | 79 |
| #2 | SNOKEN | +3.39 | 88 | 80 |
| #3 | swoldier | +3.37 | 51 | 88 |
| #4 | FlyySoHigh^ | +1.54 | 63 | 76 |
| #5 | m0rr0w | +0.94 | 76 | 83 |





