








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1259 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4149 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3176 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1655 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,654 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | XistEnCe^ | 42% | 19 |
| #16 | mu[VI]sta[R]βͺ | 42% | 12 |
| #17 | Ev1 | 41% | 17 |
| #18 | dr gaff | 38% | 21 |
| #19 | Patrick | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ΓoN.#? | 4 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Ev1 | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | FlyySoHigh^ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SNOKEN | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mindseth | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikaeliX | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | FlyySoHigh^ | 106 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mindseth | 88 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | m0rr0w | 86 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | SNOKEN | 69 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomitas | +4.22 | 79 | 79 |
| #2 | Mindseth | +2.71 | 71 | 76 |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]βͺ | +2.47 | 78 | 59 |
| #4 | SNOKEN | +2.03 | 82 | 73 |
| #5 | ΓoN.#? | +1.17 | 51 | 45 |





