








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3717 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2670 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3987 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1785 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $943,047 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | astronawf | 76% | 49 |
| #2 | n3b[s] | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | Envy | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | skipp | 61% | 85 |
| #5 | King of The Trees | 57% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skipp | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Prof. Skurlington III PhD. Esq. | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | King of The Trees | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | kenny | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Crawfish | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crawfish | 324 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | King of The Trees | 285 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | kenny | 283 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | skipp | 177 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | astronawf | 140 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quesakilla | +3.61 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | skipp | +1.03 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | Crawfish | +0.89 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | kenny | +0.33 | 90 | 64 |
| #5 | n3b[s] | +0.19 | 74 | 45 |





