








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Esplay | 11 matches | 1,969 | |
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1551 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2133 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1209 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1990 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,069 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | s1k | 50% | 32 |
| #12 | Sykkelblyant | 48% | 23 |
| #13 | pazzy | 38% | 21 |
| #14 | Brack | 36% | 11 |
| #15 | Sandvik | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | 7 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Jokoor | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | FELIX | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Loqi | 2 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Sykkelblyant | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sykkelblyant | 152 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lomax | 73 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | pazzy | 69 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Loqi | 69 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jokoor | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | +4.81 | 96 | 35 |
| #2 | hogelele | +2.58 | 94 | 66 |
| #3 | FELIX | +1.83 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | Sykkelblyant | +1.22 | 75 | 76 |
| #5 | Jokoor | +1.16 | 75 | 62 |





