










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1287 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1709 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1264 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 956 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1063 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,031 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooter | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Schatvi | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Farmors Ägghalvor | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Brormatte | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | ExoTic aKx-Torpedo | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | madlöf | 161 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | PpPpPp ~Drillaren??? | 103 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Farmors Ägghalvor | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Scooter | 64 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | ExoTic aKx-Torpedo | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |





