








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3154 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 2482 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1158 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,131,414 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | Moose | 49% | 157 |
| #3 | eN1gma | 49% | 280 |
| #4 | â•DirtyBubble | 48% | 170 |
| #5 | Captain .38 Special | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Moose | 49% | 157 |
| #3 | eN1gma | 49% | 280 |
| #4 | â•DirtyBubble | 48% | 170 |
| #5 | Captain .38 Special | 45% | 77 |
| #6 | camerontodd02 | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eN1gma | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Moose | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Captain .38 Special | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | â•DirtyBubble | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moose | 983 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #2 | â•DirtyBubble | 230 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Captain .38 Special | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | camerontodd02 | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | eN1gma | 33 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -YT-Papercrinkly-TTV- | +1.72 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | â•DirtyBubble | +1.06 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Inphinity | +0.66 | 69 | 54 |
| #4 | eN1gma | -0.13 | 51 | 29 |
| #5 | Moose | -0.82 | 42 | 74 |





