








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1732 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2479 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3011 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2329 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,726 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hijo | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | Frag0r | 66% | 68 |
| #3 | GENjiii~ | 64% | 22 |
| #4 | MinimaL | 63% | 46 |
| #5 | !RuNNeR | 61% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super n0u* | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | vlieldiavol0~ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | GENjiii~ | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Farmovement | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Frag0r | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlieldiavol0~ | 325 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | WarTi | 157 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | hijo | 156 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Farmovement | 140 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Super n0u* | 140 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlieldiavol0~ | +1.80 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | MinimaL | +1.31 | 62 | 66 |
| #3 | D0Niii | +1.30 | 91 | 78 |
| #4 | Farmovement | +1.28 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | Kompetenz Klaus | +0.89 | 95 | 68 |





