








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 664 matches | ||
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6827 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8878 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9729 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 7951 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,487,983 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disi | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | hijo | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | MinimaL | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | insaneNESK | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | syN | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | net | 41% | 64 |
| #18 | Optix :> | 40% | 60 |
| #19 | Kompetenz Klaus | 40% | 90 |
| #20 | GENjiii~ | 35% | 79 |
| #21 | PuZzLe | 31% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GENjiii~ | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Grizi | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | insaneNESK | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Frag0r | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | MinimaL | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frag0r | 553 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | MinimaL | 388 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | chriswersonst | 364 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Grizi | 277 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | stev.v | 276 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stev.v | +3.20 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | _qwertzN | +2.58 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | syN | +2.14 | 74 | 84 |
| #4 | MinimaL | +1.29 | 62 | 69 |
| #5 | insaneNESK | +1.21 | 71 | 73 |





