










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 799 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1744 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1998 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2683 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $971,516 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Hr. YOLO | El Capitan | 44% | 109 |
| #7 | AndyS | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | xPsyc#HertaSpin | 43% | 46 |
| #9 | <viper>qlimax | 42% | 77 |
| #10 | PadigS | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coDaZ! | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Thorsen | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | <viper>qlimax | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Hr. YOLO | El Capitan | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | PadigS | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coDaZ! | 197 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Thorsen | 191 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | xPsyc#HertaSpin | 189 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | PadigS | 161 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hr. YOLO | El Capitan | 141 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coDaZ! | +4.51 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Sp. | +3.25 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | Joja | +2.16 | 85 | 67 |
| #4 | xPsyc#HertaSpin | +1.32 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Hr. YOLO | El Capitan | +0.45 | 66 | 64 |





