








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2281 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2619 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2579 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2358 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,198 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d00wN | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | schipzi | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | spiff | 56% | 94 |
| #4 | Stillmatic | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | r3vs | 53% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | schipzi | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | spiff | 56% | 94 |
| #4 | Stillmatic | 54% | 39 |
| #5 | r3vs | 53% | 171 |
| #6 | qwad | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qwad | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | spiff | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | r3vs | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Stillmatic | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | d00wN | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r3vs | 410 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | spiff | 314 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | qwad | 230 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | d00wN | 175 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stillmatic | 114 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r3vs | +2.27 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Stillmatic | +0.17 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | spiff | +0.08 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | qwad | +0.02 | 66 | 74 |
| #5 | GoNzo | -0.19 | 74 | 67 |





