








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 274 matches | ||
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7324 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8720 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4793 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4629 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,345,450 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 693 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twsted2k. | 62% | 111 |
| #2 | audy | 56% | 119 |
| #3 | r3vs | 52% | 132 |
| #4 | schipzi | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | spiff | 51% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Harry ∝ ℤℝ | 48% | 160 |
| #7 | DeltΔ | 46% | 103 |
| #8 | Ziggsta | 44% | 127 |
| #9 | larry | 41% | 127 |
| #10 | thex | 39% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thex | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Harry ∝ ℤℝ | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | audy | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Ziggsta | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | schipzi | 8 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spiff | 647 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Twsted2k. | 440 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | DeltΔ | 369 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | r3vs | 326 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | audy | 306 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twsted2k. | +4.01 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | r3vs | +3.29 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | audy | +1.52 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | schipzi | +1.35 | 82 | 68 |
| #5 | d00wN | +0.85 | 82 | 45 |





