








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2762 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4052 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3182 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3345 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2549 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,473,583 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurwa Bóbr | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | LÖrK | 57% | 58 |
| #3 | Phear Mowberg | 57% | 92 |
| #4 | Göösey | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | SmootheN | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badhuset | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Feodor Fläsk | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | SmootheN | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Phear Mowberg | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | YåbeN | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmootheN | 471 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Feodor Fläsk | 404 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #3 | Phear Mowberg | 355 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | YåbeN | 346 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | badhuset | 324 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phear Mowberg | +1.67 | 50 | 66 |
| #2 | JapicaL | +1.42 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | badhuset | +1.25 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | LÖrK | +1.04 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | SmootheN | -0.62 | 49 | 65 |





