








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 173 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6963 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5358 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3140 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3393 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,773,029 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfahane | 55% | 77 |
| #2 | LÖrK | 54% | 80 |
| #3 | JapicaL | 51% | 87 |
| #4 | YåbeN | 49% | 267 |
| #5 | SmootheN | 48% | 297 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SmootheN | 48% | 297 |
| #6 | Phear Mowberg | 45% | 180 |
| #7 | Feodor Fläsk | 44% | 196 |
| #8 | oelburk | 43% | 37 |
| #9 | Kurwa Bóbr | 28% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmootheN | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | YåbeN | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Feodor Fläsk | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | JapicaL | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Phear Mowberg | 10 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feodor Fläsk | 1075 | 0.26 | 31 min |
| #2 | SmootheN | 999 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #3 | YåbeN | 859 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #4 | Phear Mowberg | 681 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #5 | JapicaL | 331 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfahane | +2.40 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Phear Mowberg | +1.24 | 52 | 64 |
| #3 | badhuset | +0.86 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | JapicaL | +0.54 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | LÖrK | +0.06 | 59 | 66 |





