








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,586 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 329 | 21% |
| Smokes | 367 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 400 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 490 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,447 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | onga bonga | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | HARALDINE | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Lipski | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Rum is alle (LLX) | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Zaubergurke | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | thetruemortymlul | 29% | 7 |
| #18 | Moerchen187 | 25% | 4 |
| #19 | TaP-Malao | 25% | 4 |
| #20 | icey-goblin | 11% | 9 |
| #21 | shanez | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manu | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | WiwN | 2 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | HARALDINE | 2 | 0.0260 |
| #4 | D7 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | praT_tippen ein | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D7 | +3.01 | 83 | 41 |
| #2 | praT_tippen ein | +2.51 | 85 | 45 |
| #3 | Unch4In3d | +2.06 | 95 | 65 |
| #4 | Manu | +1.50 | 91 | 34 |
| #5 | jerryPLSKI | +1.28 | 81 | 67 |





