








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1885 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3654 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1975 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2237 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $560,602 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papa Sachi | 65% | 69 |
| #2 | Redeem | 60% | 169 |
| #3 | Wilbur | 59% | 159 |
| #4 | jegg | 57% | 93 |
| #5 | nadic | 57% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jegg | 57% | 93 |
| #5 | nadic | 57% | 145 |
| #6 | LILHEINY | 55% | 111 |
| #7 | Teger | 54% | 28 |
| #8 | surolav | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redeem | 29 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | nadic | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | jegg | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Papa Sachi | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Teger | 4 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redeem | 769 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | nadic | 405 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Papa Sachi | 201 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | jegg | 184 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Wilbur | 148 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redeem | +2.46 | 84 | 53 |
| #2 | shaney | +2.33 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | surolav | +1.84 | 91 | 58 |
| #4 | nadic | +0.96 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Papa Sachi | +0.81 | 68 | 53 |





