








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 754 | 21% |
| Smokes | 914 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 829 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1021 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,521 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir.W1lly | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | N1CK | 44% | 36 |
| #3 | skinkekaptajnen | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | dNSTAR | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | 100% Jesus | 42% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 100% Jesus | 14 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | N1CK | 10 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | Fr1tzy -M- | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Sir.W1lly | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | skinkekaptajnen | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 100% Jesus | 468 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | skinkekaptajnen | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | N1CK | 42 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sir.W1lly | 34 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | dNSTAR | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dNSTAR | +1.58 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Fr1tzy -M- | +1.46 | 71 | 53 |
| #3 | 100% Jesus | +0.69 | 56 | 56 |
| #4 | N1CK | +0.63 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | 'iHacked | -0.59 | 61 | 47 |





