










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,653 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 876 | 30% |
| Smokes | 746 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 780 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 530 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,759 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyper | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | kaaai | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Svackan | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Gecko Zenin | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | fex | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Svackan | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Gecko Zenin | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | fex | 44% | 48 |
| #6 | .dNL! | 38% | 37 |
| #7 | Lavida^Hoyt | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fex | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | .dNL! | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Gecko Zenin | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Svackan | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Lavida^Hoyt | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fex | 210 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | .dNL! | 160 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lavida^Hoyt | 98 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gecko Zenin | 96 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | hyper | 57 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaaai | +4.84 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Gecko Zenin | +1.23 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | .dNL! | +0.16 | 71 | 70 |
| #4 | fex | -0.14 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | Swe/eng - polite guy. | -0.19 | 59 | 71 |





