








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 638 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9133 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7479 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5786 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7030 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,622,534 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fex | 48% | 182 |
| #2 | Gecko Zenin | 48% | 324 |
| #3 | .dNL! | 46% | 237 |
| #4 | Svackan | 46% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fex | 48% | 182 |
| #2 | Gecko Zenin | 48% | 324 |
| #3 | .dNL! | 46% | 237 |
| #4 | Svackan | 46% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gecko Zenin | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | fex | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | .dNL! | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Svackan | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .dNL! | 921 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | Gecko Zenin | 869 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #3 | fex | 682 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | Svackan | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gecko Zenin | +0.86 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | .dNL! | +0.57 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | fex | +0.34 | 73 | 62 |
| #4 | Svackan | +0.16 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | Lavida^Hoyt | -0.73 | 66 | 71 |





