








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1742 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,407 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 785 | 18% |
| Smokes | 784 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1508 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1330 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,350,957 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master#1 | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Christophs Maul | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | _#hugo. | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | Ninarino ♥ | 52% | 65 |
| #5 | ✪Вебер™ | HunnyBoppin` | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ART | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | H3inz Clutchh4rdt | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Bratan | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | chief chulio | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ClintMAN | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H3inz Clutchh4rdt | 223 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | ART | 206 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Felix | 168 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ninarino ♥ | 145 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | chief chulio | 116 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chief chulio | +2.50 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | ClintMAN | +2.08 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | ✪Вебер™ | HunnyBoppin` | +2.05 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Ninarino ♥ | +2.02 | 78 | 62 |
| #5 | Christophs Maul | +1.93 | 72 | 68 |





