








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Renown | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6973 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6446 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5659 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6349 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,723,535 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Eimar | 49% | 133 |
| #8 | paruwka | 48% | 268 |
| #9 | turbodemon | 46% | 71 |
| #10 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ dyniz ♥ | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | GH05T 2.0 | 43% | 103 |





