








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 765 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1156 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 503 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $507,857 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | r33n | 50% | 48 |
| #6 | EmiliaBunny | 49% | 39 |
| #7 | The Strongest | 49% | 70 |
| #8 | they see me rollin ♿ | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | ricK | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmiliaBunny | 5 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | The Strongest | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | r33n | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | INETikone | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ricK | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Strongest | 259 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | EmiliaBunny | 171 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | r33n | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | INETikone | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | kataBa | 64 | 0.18 | 2 min |





