








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 326 | 22% |
| Smokes | 427 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 375 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 333 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,921 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-dog | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | PsychoSquirrel | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | lynkineseren dr. Lund | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | SigmaBroCorn | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Super Saiyan God | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SigmaBroCorn | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | Super Saiyan God | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | xxZieglerPrime | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | dhE- | 38% | 8 |
| #8 | Moon | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Super Saiyan God | 40 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #2 | xxZieglerPrime | 34 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #3 | Moon | 24 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | lynkineseren dr. Lund | 18 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | SigmaBroCorn | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-dog | +3.57 | 39 | 72 |
| #2 | Super Saiyan God | +3.51 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | 5MILEyy | +1.17 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | SigmaBroCorn | +0.76 | 64 | 73 |
| #5 | dhE- | +0.61 | 79 | 56 |





