








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 849 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 155 | 18% |
| Smokes | 374 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 211 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 109 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,246 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TiTeBQH | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Knutellers | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | TrEksi | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Doctor Manhattan | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Farligdranker | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Farligdranker | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | Fongyllen | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | MIKKEL =D | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | Pibeministeren | 40% | 35 |
| #9 | zabidk | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pibeministeren | 10 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Knutellers | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Farligdranker | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | MIKKEL =D | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Fongyllen | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKKEL =D | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Knutellers | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | zabidk | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Fongyllen | 19 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pibeministeren | 18 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKKEL =D | +7.67 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | TrEksi | +4.22 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | TiTeBQH | +0.96 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Knutellers | +0.74 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Farligdranker | -0.36 | 75 | 43 |





