








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,887 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 269 | 9% |
| Smokes | 677 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1026 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 915 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,250 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Knutellers | 53% | 45 |
| #8 | Farligdranker | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | TiTeBQH | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | bork | 40% | 35 |
| #11 | zabidk | 23% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKKEL =D | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Farligdranker | 9 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Fongyllen | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | zabidk | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | TrEksi | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKKEL =D | 104 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Knutellers | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | TiTeBQH | 62 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | TrEksi | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Herbst | 50 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MIKKEL =D | +6.14 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | Herbst | +6.14 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | TrEksi | +4.42 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | TiTeBQH | +1.10 | 75 | 62 |
| #5 | Knutellers | +1.07 | 62 | 55 |





