








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 515 | 26% |
| Smokes | 474 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 444 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 517 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,241 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | MΣ GustA# . | 63% | 38 |
| #9 | psychoRZR | 63% | 8 |
| #10 | P33ING^♕ | 60% | 52 |
| #11 | ✰Dΐvΐภe✰ | 57% | 35 |
| #12 | ☠♈αя♏αη⋃☠ヅ | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P33ING^♕ | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Lime | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | -Flux | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | ★✪Lιgн†nιng™. _ w0w✪★ | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P33ING^♕ | 171 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lime | 101 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✰Dΐvΐภe✰ | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☠♈αя♏αη⋃☠ヅ | 93 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | ☯Sℹ︎ℓ︎⋎︎عя☯ | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |





