








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 45 | 13% |
| Smokes | 113 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 82 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 94 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $41,800 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobbes | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Erik | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Miyagi | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | ciabatta | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ciabatta | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | REALLYLAZY | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | themellomushroom | 0% | 2 |
| #8 | hairy | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erik | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miyagi | 77 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hobbes | 32 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | druuuuuuuuuuu | 14 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | ciabatta | 13 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Erik | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobbes | +4.70 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | druuuuuuuuuuu | +1.72 | 57 | 85 |
| #3 | Miyagi | +0.61 | 61 | 78 |
| #4 | ¯time_wave¯ | -0.97 | 47 | 49 |
| #5 | Erik | -2.10 | 36 | 60 |





