








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1101 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1019 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,085 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HyperXR99 LF TEAM | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | jdarey | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | MANO | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | faren | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | Syntev | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jdarey | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | MANO | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | faren | 59% | 54 |
| #5 | Syntev | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | chojak | 43% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chojak | 8 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chojak | 307 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | faren | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | jdarey | 59 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | MANO | 58 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Syntev | 56 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jdarey | +2.32 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | faren | +2.06 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | chojak | +1.92 | 88 | 65 |
| #4 | HyperXR99 LF TEAM | +0.65 | 34 | 64 |
| #5 | MANO | +0.20 | 58 | 63 |





