








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 595 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1313 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1550 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1031 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $629,120 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaFlaa | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Agent | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | santimss | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | eKs. | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | BD-AMRY | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waplet | 68 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | pikkupsoap | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Example | 51 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | chucky | 48 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝔾-𝕞𝕒𝕟 | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eKs. | +7.65 | 73 | 70 |
| #2 | waplet | +2.40 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | Example | +2.30 | 70 | 64 |
| #4 | LaFlaa | +2.12 | 86 | 67 |
| #5 | EMYS | +1.68 | 74 | 69 |





