








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 946 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 450 matches | ||
| Premier | 312 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3675 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6705 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5879 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4838 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,100,076 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0fisch.de | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | þeis | 58% | 145 |
| #3 | riccflair | 54% | 493 |
| #4 | [114] :) | 54% | 317 |
| #5 | 123 | 53% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Ozzy | 51% | 415 |
| #7 | GENERALNADE | 50% | 227 |
| #8 | cajunb | 48% | 54 |
| #9 | Jones | 47% | 131 |
| #10 | d1NCE | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozzy | 7 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | riccflair | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | 123 | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | d1NCE | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | [114] :) | 1 | 0.0001 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riccflair | 1367 | 0.13 | 40 min |
| #2 | [114] :) | 935 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #3 | Ozzy | 903 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #4 | GENERALNADE | 658 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #5 | 123 | 511 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [114] :) | +1.35 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | d1NCE | +0.96 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | Ozzy | +0.55 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | 123 | +0.51 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | English | +0.39 | 66 | 57 |





