








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3758 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4802 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4045 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4748 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,049,122 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noprkl | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | SCATMAN | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | KaKku ♛ | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | Korvamato | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Kimmo | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | BÖPIS | 48% | 156 |
| #14 | Cobb | 47% | 57 |
| #15 | zrfnd | 45% | 29 |
| #16 | =( | 44% | 27 |
| #17 | Välil osuu välil ei (Jeru) | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | BÖPIS | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Wopeo | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | FЯAG | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani | 815 | 0.26 | 24 min |
| #2 | BÖPIS | 382 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Eli | 372 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | Wopeo | 310 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | FЯAG | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapizh | +1.34 | 50 | 63 |
| #2 | Wopeo | +1.02 | 53 | 64 |
| #3 | BÖPIS | +0.90 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | Eli | +0.87 | 60 | 78 |
| #5 | Korvamato | +0.56 | 68 | 51 |





