








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 37% |
| Smokes | 643 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1000 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,254 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | decof | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | HattoriHanzo | 43% | 79 |
| #4 | Kytkittäjä | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | kÄÄk | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | decof | 47% | 19 |
| #2 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | HattoriHanzo | 43% | 79 |
| #4 | Kytkittäjä | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | kÄÄk | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kÄÄk | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HattoriHanzo | 210 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | kÄÄk | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 37 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | decof | 23 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kytkittäjä | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | decof | +3.84 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | HattoriHanzo | +0.35 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | kÄÄk | -0.23 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | Kso3 | -0.81 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Kytkittäjä | -2.18 | 44 | 50 |





