








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1357 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1454 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1316 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1671 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,502 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ZeZe | 49% | 128 |
| #9 | prizzzle | 48% | 147 |
| #10 | ◢SJADO◤ | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | Twitch.tv/bethvictoria_xx | 41% | 17 |
| #12 | Ken0bi_ | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mattG | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ZeZe | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | JR | 6 | 0.0186 |
| #4 | prizzzle | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Blübbs | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mattG | 560 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | ZeZe | 218 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ken0bi_ | 172 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | prizzzle | 134 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Blübbs | 95 | 0.05 | 2 min |





