








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5294 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3315 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3121 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2512 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,251 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pakettikone | 51% | 49 |
| #2 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | TOmi ^.- | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pakettikone | 51% | 49 |
| #2 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | TOmi ^.- | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | pakettikone | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | TOmi ^.- | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | 213 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | pakettikone | 184 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | TOmi ^.- | 138 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retarded =Dsh00ter | +3.05 | 94 | 67 |
| #2 | TOmi ^.- | +0.55 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | =) | +0.36 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | pakettikone | -0.66 | 62 | 69 |





