








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2590 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3106 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2875 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1846 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,219,184 of utility $250 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | emiL | 50% | 286 |
| #6 | Aleksic | 50% | 361 |
| #7 | HeXoN. | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | Rossi | 50% | 116 |
| #9 | SEWYYY | 49% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emiL | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Lystr1x | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Aleksic | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | SEWYYY | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Rossi | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEWYYY | 741 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Aleksic | 711 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #3 | emiL | 667 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #4 | Naburus | 473 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | Lystr1x | 244 | 0.05 | 5 min |





