








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3240 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2842 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3173 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3073 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,877 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ncky.exde | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | chilly | 59% | 54 |
| #3 | Hagelund | 50% | 143 |
| #4 | Hide on Basket | 48% | 209 |
| #5 | 7ersen | 48% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 7ersen | 48% | 135 |
| #6 | Rezi | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | err0r` | 47% | 83 |
| #8 | Brage | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | Grav | 41% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hagelund | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | 7ersen | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Rezi | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Grav | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Hide on Basket | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 7ersen | 674 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | Hagelund | 264 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hide on Basket | 197 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | err0r` | 164 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Grav | 147 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hagelund | +1.48 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | chilly | +0.70 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | trymster | +0.68 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | 7ersen | +0.55 | 64 | 73 |
| #5 | err0r` | +0.43 | 73 | 64 |





