








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 719 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1904 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1181 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 707 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,083 of utility $9 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rewind Monkey | 49% | 90 |
| #2 | Ned Flanders | 48% | 94 |
| #3 | Skamboy | 45% | 78 |
| #4 | Straw | 44% | 66 |
| #5 | Jelly Brainlet | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rewind Monkey | 49% | 90 |
| #2 | Ned Flanders | 48% | 94 |
| #3 | Skamboy | 45% | 78 |
| #4 | Straw | 44% | 66 |
| #5 | Jelly Brainlet | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rewind Monkey | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Ned Flanders | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Skamboy | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Straw | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skamboy | 209 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Straw | 124 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ned Flanders | 104 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rewind Monkey | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jelly Brainlet | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ned Flanders | +3.12 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | VAsCo | +0.85 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | Straw | +0.18 | 44 | 72 |
| #4 | Rewind Monkey | -0.71 | 59 | 36 |
| #5 | Skamboy | -2.99 | 44 | 62 |





