








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1022 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1480 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1624 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1560 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,887 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 151 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lowlita | 85% | 33 |
| #2 | fraxxy | 80% | 46 |
| #3 | tony | 66% | 113 |
| #4 | rachael | 65% | 23 |
| #5 | smieszneznaczki | 64% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smieszneznaczki | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | bainz ┐( °ー ° )┌ | 10 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | nykaN | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | so | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Pupsti | 3 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b | +3.51 | 46 | 82 |
| #2 | smieszneznaczki | +3.36 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | |3DForest| | +2.60 | 82 | 35 |
| #4 | Pupsti | +1.91 | 59 | 77 |
| #5 | MachineChaos | +1.79 | 86 | 57 |





