








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7906 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5565 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6893 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7510 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,954 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lab | 91% | 54 |
| #2 | 亗köniG | 87% | 52 |
| #3 | King Salt | 81% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lab | 91% | 54 |
| #2 | 亗köniG | 87% | 52 |
| #3 | King Salt | 81% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 亗köniG | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | King Salt | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | lab | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Salt | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | 亗köniG | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | lab | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lab | +2.84 | 84 | 52 |
| #2 | 亗köniG | +1.44 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | ⇜[ ℤΔWFUL ]⇝ | +0.91 | 52 | 57 |
| #4 | King Salt | +0.08 | 32 | 65 |





