








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3382 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2671 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1681 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2217 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,554 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G.O.D. | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | jaegarN :X ♿ | 59% | 69 |
| #3 | KennyBBM | 59% | 64 |
| #4 | freetv | 59% | 51 |
| #5 | smeeeee:d | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | smeeeee:d | 57% | 47 |
| #6 | marCel | 56% | 27 |
| #7 | ClitCommander | 50% | 28 |
| #8 | MoMo30 | 43% | 49 |
| #9 | selz | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyBBM | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | jaegarN :X ♿ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | freetv | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | marCel | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | selz | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaegarN :X ♿ | 308 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | KennyBBM | 218 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | MoMo30 | 218 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | smeeeee:d | 218 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | freetv | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freetv | +2.77 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | smeeeee:d | +1.71 | 70 | 83 |
| #3 | KennyBBM | +1.11 | 70 | 70 |
| #4 | Gevin .|. | +0.78 | 79 | 80 |
| #5 | G.O.D. | +0.77 | 55 | 69 |





