








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 586 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 305 matches | ||
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5635 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6767 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5440 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6150 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,006,880 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y0lo | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | Sausage Swiper | 54% | 82 |
| #3 | Cruel | 52% | 295 |
| #4 | axiz | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | Palmihlynsson | 51% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Biggie Smalls | 50% | 30 |
| #7 | DREDINN | 50% | 412 |
| #8 | Sack- | 49% | 155 |
| #9 | Gnarr | 49% | 377 |
| #10 | Morendiz | 48% | 399 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gnarr | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | DREDINN | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Morendiz | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Palmihlynsson | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Sack- | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DREDINN | 1954 | 0.22 | 68 min |
| #2 | Gnarr | 1061 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #3 | Morendiz | 698 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #4 | Sack- | 436 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #5 | Cruel | 431 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sack- | +1.65 | 57 | 71 |
| #2 | DREDINN | +1.09 | 62 | 87 |
| #3 | Palmihlynsson | +0.30 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | axiz | +0.13 | 61 | 62 |
| #5 | Sausage Swiper | +0.01 | 83 | 59 |





