








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2767 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3143 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3674 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2733 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $634,073 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 390 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gัแดแดto๐ฟd | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | The Mighty Zwano | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | tommysegh | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | iAmT | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | REPLIX | 51% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tommysegh | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | [EXD] ยฎJโฏฬโฏฬยฎโข | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | xtmDma | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | REPLIX | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | vegA | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REPLIX | 324 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | vegA | 263 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | iAmT | 155 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | [EXD] ยฎJโฏฬโฏฬยฎโข | 152 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gัแดแดto๐ฟd | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vegA | +2.50 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | tommysegh | +2.02 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | ๐ธ๐โ | +1.27 | 79 | 78 |
| #4 | Gัแดแดto๐ฟd | +1.23 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | The Mighty Zwano | +0.94 | 83 | 59 |





