








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1739 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5284 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5685 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3544 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,022 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakmar Deag | 49% | 200 |
| #2 | ]TdG[daweed | 48% | 321 |
| #3 | Hoffei | 48% | 71 |
| #4 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 48% | 222 |
| #5 | ]TdG[turbo | 48% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ]TdG[daweed | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | michor | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Sakmar Deag | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ]TdG[turbo | 5 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ]TdG[daweed | 908 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | ]TdG[turbo | 584 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Sakmar Deag | 572 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 460 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | michor | 174 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iron_flash | +5.28 | 53 | 73 |
| #2 | ]TdG[FatRandy | +2.66 | 51 | 68 |
| #3 | Der gesegnete Cappyheimer | +2.27 | 62 | 60 |
| #4 | Sakmar Deag | +0.84 | 40 | 57 |
| #5 | ]TdG[daweed | +0.02 | 26 | 66 |





