








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 820 | 4% |
| Smokes | 6755 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 7839 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 4293 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,978 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 49% | 247 |
| #2 | ]TdG[turbo | 48% | 166 |
| #3 | ]TdG[cordio | 47% | 329 |
| #4 | ]TdG[daweed | 46% | 371 |
| #5 | Sakmar Deag | 45% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ]TdG[daweed | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ]TdG[cordio | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Sakmar Deag | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Der gesegnete Cappyheimer | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ]TdG[daweed | 1082 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Sakmar Deag | 757 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | ]TdG[turbo | 610 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #4 | ]TdG[FatRandy | 530 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #5 | iron_flash | 304 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iron_flash | +4.94 | 52 | 71 |
| #2 | ]TdG[FatRandy | +2.58 | 50 | 68 |
| #3 | RubiNio | +2.47 | 58 | 44 |
| #4 | Der gesegnete Cappyheimer | +1.89 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | Sakmar Deag | +0.83 | 39 | 58 |





